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  • Writer's pictureJeff Tu

How to attract feedback for 10x Growth

Updated: Mar 17, 2022

It is hard to balance the need for growth through feedback and not be affected by toxic and over-critical people.

I used to want growth so much that I would take every feedback around me personally, to the point that I lost my personal opinions and preferences. I would be biased towards others' views because I thought they must have seen something better than mine.

I was told humility is being inferior to others.

Before finding out these flaws of beliefs, I tend to please people who gave me negative feedback, hoping to prove that I heard them and have grown. Yet, I, deep down, felt bitter and unlovable. I was trapped in a hamster wheel to chase after a false sense of importance from those who could never give me in the first place.

Throughout the years, I have learned a few things in this journey:

1. Self-love and trust is the foundation of growth

If I could trust that I am loveable. I am accepted no matter where I am and what others are saying about me. That would create a thicker skin to face the feedback and take it less personally. It helps me dig out the first's gold (the learning points from the input).

2. Not all feedback is valid

Gradually, I get to distinguish the difference between constructive and negative feedback, although both feel painful to receive — Constructive feedback builds you, negative feedback kills you.

If I know the feedback has a bad intention behind it, I have learned to pay less attention and less weight on them.

3. Be thankful to the real supportive people

Surround yourself with actual supportive people, not just patting comforting buddies — people who only give you what you want to hear.

Since most people find giving honest feedback uneasy, be thankful if you have some in your life.

Seek those who love you enough to risk their comforts to let you know their observations.

Treasure those who still choose to walk and support you even when they have seen your ups and downs.

4. Be a supportive person

You attract those with similar core values. You will get more constructive and loving feedback if you give them.

Wish us to live in a world full of courageous and loving people.

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